This Woman is Talking to Her Dead Grandpa On TikTok
And it’s starting an intense conversation about life and death.
My FYP is often peppered with people promising a tarot card reading meant just for me or swearing that reusing a certain sound can help me call in $10,000 from the universe (which, weirdly, has not worked for me yet). The TikTok algorithm sometimes knows me better than I know myself, so it must’ve sensed that I collect crystals and knew I’d be susceptible to woo woo “no captions, no hashtags, this video had found you for a reason,” content. And it would be correct!
I love mystical TikToks, especially if I don’t overthink them.
So it didn’t surprise me when @ brittanybento showed up in my morning scroll, holding two copper dowsing rods and calling upon her deceased grandpa, who she calls Vovô. (If you’re unfamiliar, dowsing rods are tools people use to connect with spirits (or God or their subconscious or Flying Spaghetti Monster) through yes or no questions, sort of like the top of a Ouiji board or a pendulum.)
Each video in the growing series begins with Brittany asking Vovô to point the rods in the direction of his energy. In one of them, she’s sitting in the driver’s seat of a car and the rods turn to the passenger seat, as if Vovô has been casually hanging out with her while she runs errands. It’s surprisingly moving — if this woman’s long-dead grandfather might be next to her in the car, who knows how many of our own loved ones are watching over us as we sit in traffic, listening to a horrible podcast.
“Is the afterlife scary?”
Brittany takes questions from her comment section, and has asked Vovô about religion, reincarnation, and about reuniting with pets after death (the news was good). You know, the kind of questions that could keep a person up at night.
There’s something very comforting about the fact that all of the queries can only be answered with a simple, “yes” or “no.” Vovô isn’t trying to explain the mind-blowing details of existing after passing on, he’s just giving a sweet little nod. “No, death isn’t scary,” “Yes, your loved ones might still with you.” It’s simple and leaves room for the viewer to think about what they hope is true.
Personally, I love thinking about how my grandma promised to watch over me as a cat. I don’t need to know the mechanics of it — I just feel safer knowing she might be around, laying in a patch of sunshine.
We should talk more about death!
When a family member of mine died a few years ago, I got obsessed with the Death Positive Movement, which opens the floor to people who don’t think talking about death should be considered morbid or taboo. In starting conversations about death the same way we do when it comes to other factors of life, the whole affair could become slightly less scary and mysterious. After watching every single one of Caitlin Doughty’s educational videos about the funeral industry, I’d rather talk about death than I would about taxes ANY DAY.
Whether or not you choose to believe in divination, Brittany’s conversations with Vovô are starting a conversation that could help others face their fears about dying. What’s the big deal? Are we afraid of missing out on earthly pleasures? Do we feel like time isn’t on our side? Have we been raised with terrifying visions of hellfire waiting for those of us who mumbled, “goddammit” in 7th grade even though we knew we shouldn’t take god’s name in vain?
Even the notion of being reunited in death with my first hamster, Cinnamon, makes me feel better about the whole shebang. And you know what, comfort is hard to come by these days.
If I find just a smidge of comfort in a TikTok video of a girl talking to her dead grandpa, sure as heck, I’m going to take it.
